Why, Why, Why...

* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
* Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
* Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
* Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
* Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
* If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
* Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
* Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
* Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
* Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
* Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
* How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
* When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
* Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
* In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
* How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?