Married Humour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wife:           'What are you doing?'  

Husband:   Nothing.


Wife:           'Nothing...?  You've been reading our  marriage certificate for an hour.'  


Husband:    'I was looking for the  expiry date.'    


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Wife :       'Do you want dinner?'   


Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'   


Wife:         'Yes or no.'   


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Wife:     'You always carry my photo  in your wallet.  Why?'


Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how  great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'   


Wife:    'You see how miraculous and  powerful I am for you?'


Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself  what other problem can there be greater than this one?'   


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Stress  Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your  worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'   


Boy:  'It's  very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or  troubles.'  


Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't  married yet.'


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Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,  he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'   


Mom: 'Well, you have done the right  thing.'  


Son:  'But  mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'  


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A newly  married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my  father hadn't left me a fortune?'  


'Honey,' the woman replied  sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A  FORTUNE!'  


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Girl to her  boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.


The guy replies: 'Thanks for the  early warning.'


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A wife asked her husband: 'What do  you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'   


He looked  at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of  humor!'